Are there really no men or are all women blind?

I witnessed something quite perticular while working one day. At my job there are several men of varying ages who treat the Bucks like a bar. These men have different occupations and thus different incomes. They dont drink alcohol on any regular basis. So for them the bar scene wouldn't work. But as social beings a need for outside interactions always seems to arise. Hence, the Bucks becomes their bar.  

There are all these magazine and newspaper articles, blogs, self-help books giving single women advice for finding single attractive men and they all seem to suggest for women to go to places where men might congregate. Places like the grocery store, the book store, the gym, music venues and so forth. Now I see these single women and these single men in these places all of the time and yet there still seems to be no connections between the two.

On this particular balmy evening one of the single, attractive, working, non-drinking men approached a woman ordering in the drivethru. He greeted her and asked a few questions including if she were single. She loudly and pridefully announced her singleness. To this he laugh and then asked her to dinner. Instead of accepting or declining she began to chide him about his job and age.

Red light! How do you move from declaring your singlehood to ripping a promising date to shreds? Ladies, before you go off the handle understand what I am saying. The perpetuality of your singlehood could stem from your own inability to recognize a genuine chance at love. Perhaps if this woman had resisted the urge to question his source of imcome and focused on simple points of interest like: does he make me laugh, do I find him attractive, is he into crazy stuff she might have found herself out of singlehood.

This whole situation struck me as odd. The scene lent itself as a perfect canididate for several romance novels and movies and yet some glitch occured prevented the happy ever after. Do all single, black attractive, got it going on, can't find a man worthy women have this issue. What can we do to remove the malfunctioning in our programming? This deserves further research and pondering.

The Plan

Ok, so as of now my life is falling apart. Career on standby, man halfway gone, no real money, homelessness pending in six months, weight steadily climbing, car falling apart, job almost gone, teeth needing fixing, health needing checking, loneliness increasing. So today, this morning, at this ungodly hour, we are setting a plan in motion.

Career: keep applying to jobs in the field, improve resume weekly (to be done on Tuesday afternoon), join organizations to improve networking.
Man: Be open to working on things with Chris and go out on Saturdays to meet new people.
Money: Start saving. Pull money out of Fidelity and place in saving CD for May
Homelessness: Start saving, hopefully renew lease here or in lakepark cresent.
Weight: monitor eating, go to gym every other day and actually sweat girl!
Car: get tires fixed, get oil changed and keep rolling.
Job: Eff Starbucks! Fire me, unemployment checks won't be the end of my world, I hope.
Teeth: Use insurance while it last!
Health: Carry my ass to provident
Loneliness: Go out on Saturdays and meet new people. You have a car and computer something can come of that. Not to mention the homies you do have (I am not dissing y'all but we don't kick it all the time a sister be lonely)

Hopefully these short terms goals and plans help. I will keep yall posted.

An Introduction

What kind of life do I want to lead is a circling background question that haunts me daily. I never feel like I am living my life just watching an incredibly boring channel that never gets exciting. I do not feel as if anything defines me. When I think of myself and I am sure this is the same for others there is no real concrete definition for me other than she is you know, Brittany. What the hell is that supposed to mean?! I was once told that I am vanilla. Vanilla, your standard no nothing flavor. The background noise of flavors. That comment haunts me. I spent most of my days trying to project a person that I feel is what I would like to be, but that isn't really me. So I guess I am at the point in which I must face the music and accept the person I am. Easier said than done. I feel like a ship at sea with it sail set and no direction or destination. I guess that that can be considered a blessing because instead of being focused on achieving some goal I can enjoy the ride to nowhere. And if it becomes to monotonous or just plain not what I want I can point myself in the right direction.

As of today I am in either my second to last or third to last semester as a chem major writing minor at Chicago State. I of course am doing mediocre in that. I am probably a week away from getting fired from my six and half years at Starbucks. Chris and I have been dating on and off for seven years and have yet again come to the realization that we don't work but have tied one another together in a lease ending in May. We will see where I will go and whether or not this ship sinks or sails into new and uncharted lands.

I shouldn't put this out there but I think I need to find and secure the life boat and life preserves.